I am seeking…

Dear friends, friends of friends, and kindly strangers,

Thank you for referring men my way who could be a “soul match”.

Below is a little bit about what I’m seeking in a partner.

I am traveling through Europe and seeking referrals on who I should go on a date with. Check out my route to see which cities I’ll be in.

For those referrals not on my route, I’m open to a virtual date whereby an IRL date could be set up if both parties are keen. My summer travel route has not been set yet.

I am seeking a male partner, in the age range of 35-45, give or take (I’m 39) who is ready to build a deep partnership and start or continue to build a family (despite the impending doom of the climate crisis and other existential threats). I value emotional maturity, ongoing personal growth, and intellectual curiosity.

I am open to any location.

Here’s all about me.

Having spent thousands of dollars on therapy over the years myself, I'm seeking a partner who is equally committed to mental wellness and personal growth—someone with emotional processing skills, who welcomes healthy conflicts, and who has done the hard work of shaking off some individualist, patriarchal, and colonial indoctrination. If you have cultivated reverence for life's journey with equal parts terror and wonder, are addicted to learning, and are endlessly curious about understanding yourself and the world around you, we may be just right for each other.

I'm attracted to kind souls who can bring both levity and profundity to life’s strangest moments. I’m hoping to find someone with whom we can remind each other to notice the beauty of small things even when faced with the consequences of a capitalist hellscape and the unending global atrocities (oh, the atrocities!). May we add some measure of comfort to each other’s lives amid the ever-looming existential dread.

It would be wonderful to be aligned on envisioning and working towards more equitable societal models while dismantling coercive, authoritarian structures. I’m endlessly contemplating how to fight against intersecting systems of domination (encompassing recognizing interconnected struggles against patriarchy, white supremacy, economic inequality; challenging entrenched oppressive systems; resisting unjust hierarchies and concentrated power; reckoning with how different oppressive forces uphold each other).

I am seeking a partner who has a deep curiousity about how these intersecting systems of domination influence intimate partner relationships.

While seeking a partner aligned on core values, I also have recently come to understand and value differentiation—having the space to be our authentic selves within the relationship. Too much merging can lead to unhealthy enmeshment and codependency. I'm attracted to someone who has developed a strong sense of self, with their own interests, friend groups, and pursuit of individual growth. Seeking mutual celebrations of each other’s evolving identities.

I’ve come to understand that differentiation is at the heart of sustained attraction: the perpetual rediscovering of each other. As we each prioritize self-awareness and taking responsibility for our own emotional worlds, we'll be better equipped to show up as fully present, interdependent partners.