Reflecting on the Importance of Ritual this Winter Solstice
Today is the Winter Solstice, the day of the year with the least daylight in the Northern Hemisphere. I’m reflecting today on how important it is to cultivate meaning through ritual practices and just how empty life feels without it. Christmas is just a few days away and it feels so commercialized that it almost loses all meaning—not to mention the fact that I’m not a Christian and don’t personally celebrate the birth of Jesus.
Celebrating the solstice appeals to me more. According to this article from NPR.org, It's the winter solstice. Here are 5 ways people celebrate the return of light, “Since before recorded history, the winter solstice has traditionally meant a time of renewal and ritual for people all over the world.” The piece outlines traditions from around the world: pomegranates and watermelons in Iran as red symbols of dawn and life, spending time with family and eating dumplings in China, gift-giving, storytelling and prayer for the Hopi, and hot baths with yuzu, a citrus fruit, in Japan (hot bath is my kind of ritual!). The Peruvian solstice ritual detailed in the piece includes a rather morbid “mock sacrifice” that honors historic rituals. Whew, that sounds intense.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of rituals lately. I was recently inspired by a couple of things:
Witch podcast from BBC
A small moment of magic while traveling in Italy
A recent foot bath ritual by a new friend, Mirran, at the celebration of our friend Ariane’s birthday
Witch Podcast
I found Witch podcast this fall, just in time for the spooky season.
“The witch has held a place firmly in our imagination for centuries - from whispered warnings in folklore to pop-culture driven heights. But what does it mean to be a witch now? Presenter India Rakusen, creator of the podcast 28ish Days Later, is on a journey to find out.”
This is the description of the 13-part (clever) podcast series that was released in May of this year, 2023.
I listened to the whole series one week in September while recovering from two severely broken ribs from a bicycle accident in August. I’d also just left an abusive job so I was in need of a little bit of magic as I pondered what I would do with myself next. The work abuse left me questioning my sanity and identity.
The podcast outlines the history of witch lore including the infamous witch trials and burnings of the middle ages which also served the purpose of making women question our sanity and identity. The podcast host asks whether we can reclaim the witch title and use it for good. She interviews many women who identify as witches and even seeks to uncover whether magic is real in some sense.
Last year around this time I had decided that “magic” would be my theme for 2023. I’d lost some of my sense of wonder and sense that life could have beautiful synchronicities and meanings. Seeing so many “spiritual influencers” turn madly anti-vaccine during the COVID-19 pandemic had me turn away from many people I’d followed and had me reevaluating my spiritual self and practices. Did they still have merit? Are they crazy? Do they lead to a slippery slope of disinformation?
An old self had to die as I de-programmed some lingering spiritual mental weirdness, such as my inclination to put “gurus” on a pedestal. Now I just see people as people and many gurus as grifters. Processing this death of old belief and self with my podcast cohost Anne Sherry on our podcast during Season 1, we came up with something we called “Butthole-ology”: don’t trust anyone who is pretending they don’t wipe their arse every day—people acting holier than thou and pretending they don’t have the wipe the same smelly poop as the rest of us every day. The “smelly poop” is literal and a metaphor for how random and messy life is—no spiritual practice can help us escape the messiness of life. Anything that promises that is a trick to get our money and blind following.
So as I let this self die during the pandemic, fueled by following the Conspirituality podcast and other cult debunkers…some magic died too. 2023 was the year to get curious about bringing magic back in. I bought two gold pendant necklaces as reminders. One has the Goddess Hecate on it. From Wikipedia: “Hecate is a goddess in ancient Greek religion and mythology, most often shown holding a pair of torches, a key, or snakes, or accompanied by dogs, and in later periods depicted as three-formed or triple-bodied. She is variously associated with crossroads, entrance-ways, night, light, magic, protection from witchcraft, the Moon, knowledge of herbs and poisonous plants, graves, ghosts, necromancy, sorcery, and dogs.” I was going through a big life transition at the start of last year and she felt right to guide me. The other gold pendant has an etching of a hand with magic stardust in it and an infinity symbol. This serves as a reminder that we don’t know what the limits of life are. We don’t know why we’re here, how long we’ll be here, where the universe ends, why it began—it’s all an infinite mystery. There’s always more to learn, discover, and hope for. There’s no need to stay long with cynicism. The magic hand reminds me to be intentional about what I want to create and to make meaning.
The Witch podcast was enchanting and perfect for my 2023 theme. The host talks to women who consider themselves witches and it can be an empowering identity (provided reverence for science is upheld). It can be a way to practice rituals with groups of other trusted women, strengthening social ties and solidifying intentions, dreams, and goals. The host interviews someone about the science of magic or manifestation. It doesn’t not exist! “The Secret” may be bs, but there’s some science to back up that where we put our attention is often what we create.
I bought a new Tarot deck and have been lighting a candle and pulling cards on Saturday mornings after meditating. I then journal and reflect. The cards may not have any other meaning than what I give them but it can be a beautiful touch stone giving me themes to guide my week or helping me consider a new angle on a challenge.
Small Moment of Magic
I experienced the magic of prayer two weeks ago when I was visiting the city of Trieste, Italy. I was having day filled with negative thoughts and doubts. I was feeling really down and couldn’t seem to enjoy the beautiful coastal city. I popped into one of the beautiful historic cathedrals that are staples of European cities and said a solemn prayer: could I receive some help to be able to be present and notice and appreciate the beauty around me?
That night as I was strolling through the main piazza, two other tourists, Italians from Florence, approached me and asked if I could take a photo of them. I regret that my attitude was begrudging at first. People had been asking me all day to take their photo once they saw that I had a DSLR camera and probably wouldn’t take the worst photo of them with their iPhone. Where had my warmth gone? Luckily the two people of this couple were exceptionally warm and leant some of there’s to me. They asked me what I thought of Trieste. I shared that I didn’t really get it. I asked them what they thought of it. “Oh we love it!” they exclaimed. I asked them why and they shared, “It’s the only city in Italy that has Central European style architecture,” more like what could be found in Vienna, for example. “And we love that the main piazza is right on the water. That’s exceptionally beautiful.” Ahh. Now I was seeing the beauty of the city through their eyes.
Magic.
Foot Bathing Ritual
Recently I had the honor of attending my friend Ariane’s grand birthday party in the magical mountain town of Sintra, Portugal. One of her friends led a foot bath ritual. I was skeptical for some reason. Maybe I had some part that didn’t really want to relax out of fear of what I’d might feel.
We all sat comfortably on couches with our feet in warm water with aromatic herbs. The room was lit by candlelight. Mirran guided us through a ritual, inviting us to massage our feet and pay special attention to certain points on our soles. I followed along, my defenses lowering with each ritual movement, done in synchronicity with the group of us. Suddenly I noticed the telltale sign that my nervous system had relaxed: my stomach gurgled. This is a sign that we’ve entered the “rest and digest” state, or parasympathetic state of our nervous system. The sympathetic state keeps us guarded and alert. It can be triggered by reminders of past stressors and traumas so for some of us, we’re on high alert more than we’d like.
The foot ritual helped me feel safe.
It was all the things: safe, nurturing people, including our ritual guide, low light in the room, warm water, pleasant fragrances, and self-care through massage and paying attention to our bodies.
“Oh wow, this is important to do regularly,” I thought. “I’ve been running for far too long.”
From a place of safety is where we can greet and engage our fellow human beings with compassion, grace, and love. It’s the place from which we can feel curious, alive, grateful, and creative. Given how we’ve evolved a nervous system that jumps a lot as it works hard to keep us alive and safe from prehistoric threats, safety must be intentionally practiced. We can’t wait for it to come to us automatically.
This ritual had an immediate ripple effect as I persuaded my friend Kyle the following week in Warsaw to engage in a foot care ritual. We bought cosmetic socks in which to soak our feet. He, like I had been, was high skeptical. But I pushed. By the end he said, “Okay, I get it. This is really nice.”
So, this Winter Solstice I reflect on the importance of ritual, meaning, loving company, and creating a regular practice to feel safe and seen. May we emerge from this dark night and season feeling rested—safe to emerge and create art, see beauty, and connect lovingly with others.
🔗 Resource: Simple Winter Solstice Rituals
